Lonely Heart
by Sarahbeth Lazic - Author
Summary: It was now or never. If M'Adoc couldn't grasp his fear and swallow the unstable emotions fresh to his soul, he might never feel the love he desired to have with the human named Lilly. He wanted her. No, he needed her. He had to have her. But would she reject him when she discovers the truth of his identity? Or will love finally be true? (M'Adoc x OC. Sweetness)


Lonely Heart S Lazic

Lonely Heart

~ A M'Adoc/Dark Hunter Fanfiction ~

_**M**_'Adoc felt his lips turn down in to a frown as he set his gaze upon the small apartment across the dark and rain coated street. There was but one light glowing from behind the drawn curtains of the living room, and the changing lights created flashes of dim color making him think that the television was on.  
>He pondered for a moment to just what Lilly was watching. Was she watching one of her favorite comedy movies from, or perhaps one of her favorite horror movies? The Dream-God could only guess.<p>

"Are you going to stand here all night in the pouring rain, M'Adoc?"

Adarian's ghostly silvery-blue eyes shifted as his mind drew from his curiosity to regard the stoic form of D'Alerian who seemed to appear at his side. "What are you doing here?" he asked, looking back to the apartment. He blinked his impossibly blue eyes, glancing upwards the moment the pounding, cold rain suddenly vanished as an umbrella came to shield him.

Neco's lips coiled with a very slight smirk. "Hettie asked me to make sure you followed through with your promise to her."

Sighing, M'Adoc shook his head at the mention of the young woman. "I knew I should never have made that promise to her."

The other Dream-God chuckled. "Hopefully, you learned your lesson."

Arching a row, M'Adoc glanced to his friend. Hearing one of his brethren, especially the ever stoic D'Alerian, chuckle sent chills down his spine. Only a few months had passed since one of the darkest battles in the existence of the Dream-Gods ensured with once again the existence of humanity hanging by a thread. M'Adoc and M'Ordant had been taken prisoner in hopes of being forced to the other side of the war lines - they refused. M'Ordant had been killed while M'Adoc had been brutally tortured and would have died if his life and the lives of the other Oneroi and Skoti had not been saved. Before the final battle, a fallen God by the name of Cratus bartered with Zeus to return emotions back to the Dream-Gods. And though their emotions were returning prior to the battle, not all emotions had come back. However, M'Adoc knew that time would be needed for his brethren to grow accustom to not only their emotions, but the removal of needing to experience the emotions of those they visited in their dreams.

"Your sister needs to find a new hobby besides annoying me,' muttered M'Adoc with all respect given to Hettie.

Neco chuckled as a proud glint flashed within his eyes. "She was easier to handle when we did not have our emotions. However, she annoys you now simply because she no longer has M'Ordant to play with. At least he wouldn't threaten her."

"I never threatened her."

D'Alerian shrugged with a slight smirk.

"He didn't threaten her because they were in love with each other." M'Adoc huffed. "You should watch what you say about her, or she will sit and stare at you."

"I am not afraid of her."

M'Adoc let a sly grin settle his lips as he glanced quickly to his comrade. "You should be."

Neco tipped his head, watching his associate from under the black umbrella that he held over their heads. Standing in a Louisiana rain storm in the middle of January could chill even a God's bones. Neco looked back to the apartment saying, "It is getting late."

"I know," Adarian replied after a quiet moment.

"Why are you hesitating? Have you decided to meet her in her sleep?"

He didn't answer.

D'Alerian shook his head causing the long braid of black to dance down against his back. He almost sighed with a slight feeling of disappointment in his friend. "You do love her."

"I believe, in a way, I have for a while now."

"Since you first met her?"

"Perhaps."

"Then why are you here and not with her?"

M'Adoc looked away.

"I don't think we'll ever get use to these emotions. I know what you're going through - the confusion, the fear and the anxiety. I questioned my own thoughts and feelings the moment I met Anna, well, to the extent that I could at the time." He adjusted his grip upon the umbrella handle to see the rose gold and pewter band on his left ring finger glisten in the darkness. Neco smiled ever so softly.

M'Adoc caught the look in his friend's eyes then followed the gaze down to the wedding band. He snorted. One more God down the drain to a life of mortal marriage, or some twisted form of it. He looked back to the apartment. For some reason the dancing warm lights of the television calmed his nerves. Anxiety and nervousness would never fit well with him considering he was used to being in perfect control of himself. His stomach churned almost to a point of him feeling sick. He was more apprehensive staring at Lilly's apartment than he'd ever been in his life, and that was saying a whole hell of a lot.

"Can I give you some advice?"

M'Adoc shrugged.

Neco continued to speak. "Don't let another second pass as you stand by watching your life go on without you. We've suffered through enough for the past thousands of years. Don't you think it's time you, as Anna often says,' he paused and tipped his head, 'grab the bull by the horns?"

"It's not that easy."

"You think I don't know that?" Raising his hand, D'Alerian presented his wedding bad. "If I had let this one moment in my long life pass me by, I would have never forgiven myself."

Again M'Adoc scoffed. "I'm not going to marry the girl."

"I'm not saying you have to," said Neco with a slight shake of his head. "I'm speaking of love, joy, passion and pleasure. Pure happiness, Adarian, that is what I mean. It's about time you felt those again."

Happiness? Finally, he was able to feel happiness and not just that one emotion but every emotion under the sun. Blinking his eyes, M'Adoc came from his thoughts to the feel of a hand on his shoulder. He looked to D'Alerian.

"For the sake of your sanity, my friend, don't let Lilly pass from your life. Enjoy the time with her. You might not realize what you might miss if you shy away from her now."

"What if I do something wrong? What if I hurt her? What if our world hurts her?" M'Adoc asked those questions as panic and fear came racing into him along with a slam of discomfort in his gut - apprehension. His voice whispered softly and he muttered, "All of these emotions are still so unbalanced within me. I'm afraid that Lilly won't understand what is going on inside of me and that she will run from me. She doesn't know who - or what - I am."

"The Fates are cruel. Go prove them wrong. I know you, M'Adoc, and I know you will tell Lilly who you are when the time is right. I don't know when that will be. You could ask Ash, but he would only answer you in some sarcastic riddle. Look," he said gently, "the satisfaction you will feel is unexplainable. Go to her - embrace her, feel her and love her."

Adarian breathed out a heavy breath of air that turned to mist in the chill of the night. Past D'Alerian's voice he continued to hear the pounding of the rain all about him. A car drove past them causing a small wave of water from the gutter to splash onto the sidewalk. "And then what? Am I only to leave her in the end and watch her die as a human?"

Neco shrugged. "Who said you must leave her? There are ways of making a mortal immortal. We have seen it happen more times over the millennia."

"I'm a God, Neco, as are you."

"Good observation."

M'Adoc narrowed his eyes glancing sideline to his associate. "You'd make M'Ordant proud with your newly found sarcasm."

Neco grinned before he cleared his throat, falling stoic once more. "I must point out that though I am a God and Anna is still human we have found our happiness together."

"Yes. You have."

D'Alerian canted his head then looked down to the puddle growing on the street at his feet. He took a step back dare the next car splash him with dirty rain water. The last thing he wanted was to return home and have Anna bark out laughing at him for the comment he made the other day about her being "wet". He frowned and looked back up to the apartment as he pondered over the situation.

"You're desperate for her," he said after a moment. "I can almost feel your desperation seeping off of you. Your nervousness could easily turn to anguish if you do not take this chance, M'Adoc. We are eternal beings who have dealt with unimaginable tortures for an act we never committed and have thus committed atrocities and murder in return for our safety and peace. We no longer must live without our emotions so there is no fear of going Skoti if you go to her."

"I understand all of that."

"Then why are you afraid?"

The question smacked M'Adoc hard. Then again, all of Neco's words struck him clear as day. Was he truly afraid? If so, why? Was it the fear that Lilly would reject him? If she discovered what he is, she may run from him. Deep down he felt his soul tremble with that single fearful thought. How could he live with the guilt and pain of her loss? Yet, how could he live with himself and the torment of not knowing her?

Neco was right. The Fates could set one's path of life in to place, but it was not time for M'Adoc to take his destiny into his own hands. Lilly could be his destiny. She could become his everything. Many of his closest brothers and sisters have found love and happiness in the heart of a mortal, so why not him? With a heavy sigh he stepped from beneath the protection of the umbrella and out into the rain.

D'Alerian arched a slender brow, asking curiously, "Have you made your choice then?"

"I have," Replied M'Adoc as he pulled the collar of his leather trench coat higher about his features. He took two steps off the sidewalk then paused to look back over his shoulder. He called out, "Do me a favor?" .

"Of course."

"Tell Hetaera that I have kept my word to her."

A smile pulled at the corner of Neco's lips, and he inclined his head before his form vanished.

_**L**_illy hugged her knees tightly to her chest. Those beautiful lilac eyes of hers were locked wide upon the screen of her flat-screen. No matter how many times he watched the SAW movies, she would end up scaring herself. Self-torture, that's what it was, and still Lilly loved to scare herself silly. With the rain pouring down outside and the lights turned off inside her apartment, she created the perfect atmosphere to watch horror movies, and that atmosphere was quickly rising her excitement. She nibbled on her lower lip then cover her face in her hands when the music picked leading to screams and bloodshed.

In the next moment she got the fright of her life as some high pitched cry of pain and some blood bath hit the screen along with a loud knock upon her front door. Lilly squealed, nearly jumping out of her skin before sliding right off her couch and onto the floor with a thump and a loud curse. She looked up with a scowl as there came a second knock to reverberate the small apartment. Who the hell could that be at this time of night? Not a girl scout selling cookies, that's for sure, which was a darn shame since she loved those thin mint cookies.

Grunting, and with a rub to her bruised tooshie, she stood up to cross the small living room with a grumble passing her scowling lips. "Who is it?" she called out as she peeked through the peep-hole.

Both her heart and her breath stopped at the sight of one very wet and frowning M'Adoc. This couldn't be happening. Anna said that M'Adoc had left and would never be returning. Lilly had cried for days upon learning the sad news, but now he was standing right outside her door.

At least, she thought it was him. Same pale skin, though wetter. Same black hair, though longer. Same handsome features, yet stronger. And the same beautiful bright blue eyes, yet sadder.

"M'Adoc?" she inquired through the door in a voice that quivered with expectation.

M'Adoc's lips curled to a warm almost timid smile as he looked up.

Lilly's heart slammed into her chest. She couldn't remember seeing him smile before - ever. She pressed a hand to the door with her fingers curling to the wood. "Oh please be him," she whispered under her breath.

He heard her and replied softly as his gaze turned hopeful. "Yes, Lilly, it's me. Could you please open the..." M'Adoc's wet hair shifted with the pull of air about him as the front door was yanked open, "...door?"

She stared at him wide-eyed and completely stunned as silence fell between the two till the Dream-God cleared his throat. When he saw her stepping out into the rain, he stopped her by a gentle touching her arm. "Don't come out Lilly. You don't need to get wet."

Lilly lifted her eyes in order to look up at his features. At seven feet tall M'Adoc was an impressive sight even when wet and pathetic looking in his leather coat. Her stomach tightened. Though he did look pitiful, M'Adoc still coiled a knot of desire within her belly with his presence.

Smiling to him, she stepped back into her apartment while leaving the door open to him. "Then why don't you come inside and out of the rain?"

Adarian gave a nod then proceeded into the very modest, apartment. He frowned upon having to duck a bit under the door frame. Humans and their constricting architecture. "Here," he heard Lilly say, "give me your coat." He glanced down to her outstretched arms then carefully shrugged off his coat to her.

"I'll go hang this in the bathroom to dry," she said before walking down the hall. She called back to him, "Make yourself at home! Do you want some coffee or tea to warm you up?"

"Coffee," he replied flatly.

"Cream as usual?"

"Please," M'Adoc answered, casting a glance about the small living room. Above the old fireplace hung the high tech television playing one of the SAW movies. He smirked then sighed as he closed his eyes letting his surroundings take hold of him, allowing his senses to spread out about the apartment. Lilly was in the kitchen where she hummed while making the coffee. He'd never forget that soft hum.

After a few moments he heard her steps coming back down the hall and opened his eyes. Lilly looked nervous with her fingers fidgeting in her pajama top of soft blue and white cotton checkers. She certainly looked as if she was prepared to stay up for a night of horror. Seeing her so close to him, yet still so far away, clenched his heart. M'Adoc wanted to reach out to her and draw her to him. He wanted to breathe in the delicate autumn scent of apples and honey from the body wash she loved. And he wanted to bury his face into her shoulder length locks of thick maple-brown just to feel the silken strands tickle his nose.

Gods, how he missed her.

Lilly licked her lips. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. For the last six months she'd dreamt of seeing him again. Whenever she met with her friend Anna and her now husband D'Alerian, Lilly always held a glimmer of hope that M'Adoc would be with them. But no, her little dreams never came true, at least when she was awake. However, he was always waiting for her in her dreams. He never touched her, as if he were afraid she would burn him. But she heard the want for her in his voice, saw the desire for her in his eyes and couldn't help but feel the strong presence of love for her seeping from him. When he came to her in her dreams, they would talk and they would laugh. He had the deepest, most vibrating laugh she had ever heard - sadly never outside her dreams.

Could this be a dream?

No. She was certainly awake, that was for sure. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" she asked sheepishly as she lifted her slender eyes up to him.

"Yes," he said with a subtle nod that caused a wet lock of black hair to skim across his cheek, "it has been."

Before she could stop herself, Lilly stepped up to him and reached upwards to brush back that lock of hair. At her height of 5'9", M'Adoc was a solid foot taller than her - give a few inches. She'd never questioned why she found him so attractive before, she just did. It wasn't as if his body was out of proportion. Not at all. M'Adoc's body was lean and taut with corded muscles beneath his beautiful pale skin that seemed almost unearthly. He wasn't lanky, his stride was always determined and powerful and his features were as handsome and chiseled.

He was nothing but pure beauty to her, in a masculine sort of way. When her mind came back to her, after staring at him for a few heart beats, she quickly stepped back, realizing what she had done. She clutched her hand to her chest and ducked her eyes away as she muttered a quick apology.

M'Adoc blinked his eyes, slowly, then smiled. "Don't apologize," he said softly in a voice that was laced with tenderness, "you have no idea how long I've waited to feel your touch again."

"My touch?" Lilly asked, raising her eyes to look up to him. "What do you mean?"

Sighing, the Dream-God took her hand and they walked to the couch. He sat down urging her to join him. "There's so much I must tell you. I don't know where to start."

"The beginning is always the best."

He chuckled, "Very true."

"Anna said you spent some time in Alaska. Is that true?"

"Yes."

"You've been gone for a while. Did you return to your home?"

"Yes. I returned to my home, but only for a short time."

"Where's your home? You've never told me." She gave a little whimsical chuckle as she pulled a leg to cross before her upon her seat. "Then again, we don't know all that much about each other. Do we?"

Adarian turned his eyes away as a touch of pain graced his handsome features. He hadn't meant to stay away for so long. Then again, he did get an option. He thought back to the torture he had been dealt by Noir and his minions, and his lips turned down to a frown as he unconsciously ran a hand over his left arm to feel a divot in his flesh beneath the deep maroon V-neck sweater just below his elbow where a chain had been threaded right through bone, flesh, muscle and everything else that had made up that part of his limb. The memory of the pain and agony made him shudder.

"Hey..." Hearing Lilly's delicate voice snapped his attention and M'Adoc slowly looked to her as she reached up to touch his cheek. "What's wrong?"

That touch, so soft, so tender and so delicate spurred warmth to swirl within him. He lifted a hand to hold her touch to his cheek as he leaned into her palm. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"No harm meant, but you look as if you've just come back from a vacation in hell."

M'Adoc chuckled at her choice of words. He took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"I remember a few months back, D'Alerian had the same look to him as you do now." Lilly raised a finger to trail a shadow resting beneath his right eye. "He looked as if he hadn't slept a wink in weeks. He was always tired, grumpy and never spoke to anybody. When I asked him what was wrong, he said that war did this to a person. I still don't know what he meant by that, but you look like you've survived the same war."

Adarian drew her hand from his cheek to look to her fingers. He trailed his touch along the lines of her palm. "We all fight wars, Lilly. My entire life has been covered with wars and battles. It could be that I'm just tired of fighting them."

"It's human nature to become tired of our constant battles," she said softly, setting an elbow to the back of the couch to cup a cheek in her palm. Lilly watched him continue to observe her palm. His touch was feather soft and tickled her.

Shaking his head, M'Adoc said softly, "I'm not afforded that luxury, my dear."

Confusion knitted Lilly's brow. "What do you mean?"

"Never mind," he said quickly, releasing her hand.

"Don't do that. Talk to me," she said, urging him on as she poked a finger to his chest. "Have you always been like this?"

He looked to her with a brow arched. "Like what?"

"Quiet, composed and shielded off from the rest of the world."

"I know," he sighed softly and with a hint of a smile upon his lips. "I'm not used to opening myself up to another, exposing myself. I've spent years, many years, blocked off from conversing with so many, especially about my feelings. It's not easy for me."

"Why?" she asked out of curiosity, hesitantly reaching to twist a thick strand of damp hair about a finger. "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

M'Adoc shifted his gaze to her before he sat up with a slight twist to his body. His eyes bore down to her with such intensity that he saw her shiver. "How much do you trust me, Lilly?"

"As much as you need me to trust you."

"Tell me then," he said softly, touching a fingertip beneath her chin to raise her gaze, "would you trust me if I told you that with my protection nothing in the world, or in your dreams, could ever harm you?"

She chuckled delicately while giving him a playful almost disbelieving gaze. "What are you talking about, M'Adoc? No one can protect anybody in this day and age, not in the real world and not in their dreams."

"I can," he said deeply, solidly, as he reached up to cradle her face in his hands. M'Adoc searched her lilac eyes with his. "There is so much about me that you do not know, details and information that you could never comprehend."

Something within his eyes sent a chill down her spine and a wave of internal panic to spin. She gulped as her entire body seemed to freeze in place. The tone to his voice was harsh, deep and commanding. It was a tone she'd never heard from him before. Just then the tension was broken by gentle timer of the coffee maker.

M'Adoc eased back from her, releasing her face with a heavy sigh. He sat back into the couch while running his palms down his face.

"I'll go get the coffee," Lilly said robotically as she raised herself to stand then quickly departing the room.

"Damn," muttered the Dream-God as he looked up to the ceiling, "I'm going to screw this up." Oh how he hated profanity - when it came from somebody else's mouth. In his mind, he heard Delphine's words echo, "_You're not going to mess this up, M'Adoc. Just go to her and tell her just what you feel."_ Followed by her husband Jericho laughing, _"If that doesn't work, throw her down to a bed and show her how you feel."_

M'Adoc groaned upon remembering that scene. He shook his head before he heard Lilly's steps coming back into the room. She was balancing a tray with a coffee pot, two mugs and a plate of what looked to be shortbread cookies that she set down to the coffee table before them. He sat up as she poured them their coffee, cream for him and cream and sugar for her.

"Here," she said gently, offering him his cup before sitting next to him with her own. She looked away as she licked her lips. "Why'd you come back, M'Adoc? I mean, why come here tonight?"

"I had to see you," he stated with his attention locked upon his coffee, a drink he'd very much enjoyed over the past century.

"Why?" Asked Lilly, peeking to him as she blew at the steam swirling up from her cup. "I don't mean that much to you, I mean I can't considering..."

"You mean a lot to me," he said, his words stopping hers as he locked his gaze to the table before him. "I'm not sure why you would matter to me at all, honestly, but you do."

"Oh. I see."

Hearing the disappointment in her voice, M'Adoc muttered to himself. Obviously, that wasn't the best choice of words. "Lilly," he began to say as he set his coffee cup to the tray then turned to look at her, "there's no easy way to explain my being here. All I know is that the past year for me has been torture, and I'm not joking about the use of that word. The few times you met me were times when my life was calm. But those were limited days. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you goodbye, but I had no choice but to leave when I did. I was being hunted at that time by an enemy no mortal army could fight."

"Come again?" Lilly asked with a brow arched.

M'Adoc stood from the couch and stepped around the table to stand at the window. He drew back the curtain to look at the drenched street lit by a single street lamp. The rain still continued to pound down, and off in the distance came the first crack of thunder.

"Do you believe in Gods, Lilly?"

"Do I believe in God? Perhaps."

"Not a God, multiple Gods."

"You mean like the Greek Gods and all that?"

M'Adoc nodded.

"I've read the mythologies of both Rome and Greece but that's about all. I'm just not a historian on the facts." Shifting, Lilly drew her legs up to her side. She sipped her coffee while keeping her eyes on him. "Is that why you came here? To talk about Gods and mythology?"

"Perhaps," he said in reply. "Do you believe that they exist?"

"That's a good question, and a question that has never been answered." She shrugged and said, "Who knows what exists or what doesn't. There's no way of proving yes or no to that question."

"What if I told you that I knew the answer?"

"Okay, I'm lost. You know," she said, leaning an arm to the back of the couch, "when I saw you outside the door, I was so excited to see you again but now I'm wondering what the hell you're up to if you just want to talk about Deities."

He arched a brow with his gaze looking to her in the reflection of the window. He sighed under his breath. "Very well. Is there something else you would like to talk about?"

"Yes, there is," she said, her body straightening. "I want to know why I've missed you all this time if you didn't care about me from the start."

Adarian chuckled. "D'Alerian could answer that better than I. In fact, he would say that the Fates are cruel creatures who enjoy playing with the destiny of our lives."

"He does like to mention those harpies."

"That is the answer, Lilly," M'Adoc said as he turned away from the window to look at her. "Why do we know why we feel certain emotions for certain people? Perhaps our emotions for somebody comes down to nothing more than fate."

"Are you telling me that it was fate that I bumped into you that one day, fell head over heels for your gorgeous self and then have you walk right out of my life?"

He couldn't help but smirk and agree with her with a slight nod.

"That is a possibility, yes."

"That stinks," she muttered, lifting her coffee cup to her lips for a sip.

"No one has ever said that the Fates are kind to any of us. Trust me, I have dealt with those creatures too many times."

Lilly let that comment slide. "So, where have you been?"

"Literally hell on Earth."

"So not Disney World, huh?"

He chuckled with a shake of his head. "There are many hells in this universe and in all of the realms, Lilly. The one in the mythical and religious sense is just one Hell. But if you wish to know specifics of the truth," he stepped towards her to take his place on the couch once more, "I spent months fighting battles against demons that only your nightmares can create. While I was in captivity I spent days seeking you out in your dreams so I could have one moment of delight. I spent what seemed like an eternity chained to a floor with my body being eaten alive, not the only brutal torture, and then I spent time fighting to save the world from damnation."

Lilly blinked her lilac eyes. She sat quietly for a moment as she stared at him. But then her lips kicked up in to a little quirk of a smile. "You're teasing me, right?"

M'Adoc dragged his hands through his hair. "I don't expect you to believe me."

"You've got a very vivid imagination, just like D'Alerian does. The things I've heard his sister and he talk about - bizarre."

"There are many things in the many worlds that you cannot begin to comprehend, Lilly. There are beings and realms and creatures that far surpass your imagination."

Lilly scoffed. "That's saying something. I have a really big imagination all thanks to Mr. Rodgers."

"Who?" M'Adoc asked, arching a brow to her before shaking his head with a wave of a hand. "Never mind. I wish there was a way to explain who I am without you thinking me insane."

"M'Adoc," Lilly said softly as she sat her coffee cup down before she scooted closer to him. "I know from the few times that I met you that you are a very strong man. You are proud and you strong and honorable. And those ideals runs deep within your veins."

She reached out to touch his outer cheek to turn his features towards her. "I've never been able to tell why I couldn't see any true emotions in your eyes, but I saw the same stoic and empty gaze in D'Alerian's eyes many times. But now when I look in your eyes I see so much that I can pinpoint one single emotion. Your eyes are the same as the eyes you had in my dreams - so alive and vivid. Your eyes drove me wild in my dreams."

A quirk kicked at his lips. "I never meant to upset you in your dreams. My intention was to make sure you were safe."

"I didn't say I was upset, now did I?" Lilly scoffed, waving a hand at him as if she were brushing the silly notion away. "It was just a dream. You weren't really in it." She pondered as she reached for her cup only to feel a shiver trail over her skin. Glancing up, Lilly saw a hot and intense gaze within M'Adoc's eyes that caused her heart to jump a few beats.

"You weren't really in it," she repeated as she pressed herself back against the couch.

"There is a world of dreams that mortals do not know about, Lilly," he said calmly.

"There you go with that mortal word again."

M'Adoc tipped his head to the side as a drying tendril fell away from his gaze. "It is the natural term we use to you humans." That's it, find an easy way to lead her into the coming, horrid truth.

Up went a brow. "You're not right, are you?"

"In the head? I'm not sure any more, considering what I have gone through. Though I can promise that I would never harm you or allow another to harm you."

"We've been through this already. You can't protect..."

M'Adoc's gaze hardened. His eyes shifted without a thought to the beautiful swirls of silver and blue. The air around him sizzled, kicking up enough to lift a few strands of his hair without over powering her entire simple being. "Yes, Lilly, I can."

Lilly froze, everything in her froze. What she saw, what she felt, instilled not just fear but the want to cower away. She was suddenly afraid of M'Adoc, yet at the same time she felt the want to weep, to reach out and embrace him and to sob and welcome him into her life. But she just didn't know which part to listen to at the moment. With her eyes wide, Lilly chose to just stare at him.

Sighing, M'Adoc closed his eyes only to reopen them a moment later. They were the beautiful blue once again. Reaching out, he took one of her hands only to feel her fingers shaking against his palm. He sighed and closed her fingers within his. "D'Alerian told me to be honest with you, to tell you the truth. However, I'm afraid if I do trust you with such information, you could put not only myself but many of my brothers and sisters in harm's way. I don't want to leave and be forced to remove this evening, this moment shared between us, from your memory."

Lilly shook her head as she snapped herself awake. "Okay," she breathed out slowly to steady herself. After a moment, her body eased down and she asked softly, "Is this the part where I freak out and run screaming?" 

Adarian smiled softly. Her innocent words melted his heart, and he reached forwards to brush back a lock of her hair with his other hand as he chuckled slightly. "I would hope not. My intentions were not to cause you any distress, Lilly. I simply wanted to return to see you. I wasn't sure if I should share my world with you since I'm not sure what it is I feel for you."

"How can you feel anything for me?" she asked, sighing as his fingertips grazed her temple.

"Fate. Remember?"

"So, you're telling me that you might like me because of fate?"

"Not because of fate, but because of THE Fates. Basically, with every day that passes more and more of my emotions are returning to me, and one of these emotions involve missing you. True, I only spent a small amount of time with you but I had always been drawn to you, which is why I came to you in your dreams - to be with you as I naturally can, to watch over you and to learn more about you. And from your dreams I have grown to know that I..."

Swallowing, he drew back as if afraid of his next words.

"That what? You've fallen in love with me?" she chuckled uneasily before setting her forehead to her palm.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"How can you be in love with me?"

M'Adoc's lips coiled to a grin as he reached out to take her chin in his strong yet gentle fingers. He turned her gaze back to him. "How many times in your dreams did you tell me that you had fallen in love with me? A hundred or more?"

Lilly blinked. How did he...?

Seeing within her eyes the recognition of his words, Adarian shifted closer to her. "You always wore this beautiful blue dress in your dreams. A sun dress, you called it, with small straps," he paused his words, touching fingers over her left shoulder, "and it had little white flowers across your chest. Your dreams were always warm and sunny. It was always autumn in your dreams."

M'Adoc dipped his head to lift his gaze to her as his fingers caressed over the dip of her collar bone. "You had a necklace you always wore yet never owned. You said you saw it in a store once but couldn't afford it, so in your dreams you owned it. A beautiful white-gold pendant hung from a white-gold chain, and on the pendant was an etched lily. It looked so beautiful on you."

Lilly gulped. "Okay," she said with shaking words, "you're frightening me. How do you know all this?"

"Because I was there, always. I told you that."

"How?"

Cupping her face in his hands, M'Adoc drew her closer causing her body to arch towards him as he leaned close. He flashed his eyes once again to the swirling pools of silver and blue just before he muttered to her, "Because, I am a God." He then captured her lips with his in a kiss that was so blazingly hot that he heard her hiss as if her lips were seared.

Lilly melted instantly. Her body and mind swirled into delightful nothingness as M'Adoc's lips caressed and played over hers. Her senses were thrown into wild loops as his strong, spicy scent filled her very being. Even her soul seemed to dance from his touch. She moved closer by instinct, reaching up to curl fingers against the fabric of his sweater. Tipping her head, she willingly parted her lips allowing his tongue to slip forth into the warmth of her mouth. A tight groan pushed up from her throat as he wrapped his arms about her, pulling her against him and crushing her slender frame against the power that he was. She was shaking as her arms linked about his neck, fingers coiled into the strands of his damp black hair and as her body arched to press eagerly against him.

It was him! Yes, this was the same man she had created within her dreams! Her dreams had been so vivid and colorful with scents and sounds and sights that she never had imagined before in any of her dreams. It was as if, when M'Adoc was there, her dreams were reality. Drawing back from him, panting and licking her lips, Lilly skimmed fingers down his neck to cup his cheek.

"It was you in my dreams. My God, what are you?"

Those haunting eyes of his fluttered closed as he leaned into her touch. "I am a God of Dreams, Lilly. That is all you must know at this point." He sighed and drew back from her. "I understand if you wish me to leave. I understand if you do not believe me..."

"D'Alerian's like you, isn't he?"

He looked to her giving a nod.

"Figures. Anna told me she had dreams of him like I had of you. I've seen his eyes before, they looked like yours."

"We can mask our eye color in the mortal world, but yes, he is much like me. He and I are the leaders of collective known as Dream Gods, Oneroi."

Lilly frowned. "You mean all of what you've told me happened to you? You were in a battle and tortured?"

M'Adoc shifted from her then proceeded to pull his sweater over his head. He heard Lilly gasp and on instinct turned his gaze away. Though his powers could be used to mask all of the welts and wounds that were still healing, there was no way to make them go away forever, even if he was a God. He winced when feeling her delicate, cool touch caress a jagged line that ran from his right shoulder to slash across his chest where a barbed whip had torn deep into the muscles of his chest. She then touched one of the many odd scars where a chain had been threaded like a needle a through his body.

"Oh...my..."

M'Adoc took her hand away from his flesh, lifting to touch kisses to her knuckles. "What you see on me is not the full extent of the torture I have been dealt throughout my life time."

Whimpering softly, Lilly leaned forwards with tears glistening in her eyes. She then wrapped him within her arms, cradling him to her as those tears spilled down her cheeks. "What has happened to you?"

The impact of her tears and the whimpering tone to her voice broke M'Adoc's intense resolve. He grasped her, hugging her and burring his face to her neck. He found his fingers curling tightly to her back as the feelings of desperation, loneliness and need swirled within him. He was desperate for this simple but pure contact, he was lonely for her to fill the empty void within him and he was in so much need to have her in his arms outside of her dreams that he nearly cried as she touched kisses over his face. Humans and their humanity, their tenderness and their gentility touched him so deep that M'Adoc was almost afraid of what he was feeling.

"You do not fear me?" he whispered softly against her neck.

Sniffling, Lilly drew back to cup his face in her hands. She smiled softly to him as she brushed a lock of ebony hair from his features. "No, M'Adoc. Though I know I should fear you, the rational side of my brain keeps telling me that Gods are nothing more than myths made up by humanity to answer unknown natural occurrences. But there's a part in me that wants to weep. But why? Why are you telling me all of this?"

He smiled to her as he watched a fingertip trail over a wet cheek. He sighed then answered her softly, "Because, deep down in my heart I knew from the first moment I met you that you and I were fated to be together. While I lay tortured, beaten and bloodied on that cave floor waiting for Noir and his minions to kill me as they had done my brothers and sisters, I kept thinking of you. I would see you face, hear you laugh and feel your touch upon my torn flesh and that is all that kept me sane. I kept telling myself over and over again that if the battle was won and I survived, I would return to you. That is why I came to you tonight. I had to return to you."

Lilly's heart broke. A delicate sob tumbled past her lips before she brought his lips to hers. She kissed him with all of her might, all of her desire and all of her passion rolled up in to one sizzling and intense moment. In her arms, she felt M'Adoc shudder as he grasped her to him.

"But wait," she said suddenly, leaning back to look to him, "you're a God and I'm just a human. How can this work?"

M'Adoc's lips tucked in to a smirk and he set a palm over her heart. "What do you believe in your heart, Lilly?"

"That anything is possible if you put your mind to it."

"Then give me your mind and let me make all of your heart's possibilities come true."

14


End file.
